


*Insert Cheesy Line Here*

by DearDaisy (Sunsetdaydreams)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cheesy lines in general, Getting Together, M/M, No Smut, Rated for Mature for language, cheesy pick up lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:08:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25385059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunsetdaydreams/pseuds/DearDaisy
Summary: Stiles comes over spouting cheesy pick up lines. Derek doesn’t know what to do until he realises that Stiles is serious.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 12
Kudos: 206





	*Insert Cheesy Line Here*

‘I’m not a photographer.’ Stiles stated loudly as he practically threw himself into the loft. Derek didn’t even flinch, he’d gotten used to Stiles’ dramatic and unusual entrances. ‘But I can picture you and me together.’

Derek frowned at him. Was he supposed to know what Stiles was talking about? ‘Are you feeling alright?’

‘Perfectly fine.’ Stiles beamed at him. ‘You know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.’

‘What is wrong with you?’ Derek asked, going over and placing his palm on Stiles’ forehead. Usually Stiles made sense or Derek could figure it out, but what did Stiles’ cheap plaid shirts have to do with photography?

‘Are you a magician?’

‘Stiles,’ Derek stared at him and spoke slowly. ‘You know I’m a werewolf.’

‘Because every time I see you everyone else disappears.’

Derek sighed, unable to connect the dots. But that didn’t mean that someone else couldn’t. ‘I’m going to call Scott. There’s something wrong.’

‘Can I follow you home? My parents told to always follow my dreams.’

‘What? I am home!’ Derek side eyed him critically, his heart rate was at its usual fast rate, his scent was normal, maybe slightly nervous and worried but he still smelt of Stiles and adderall. There was no scent of any blood or wounds, possibly a faint lingering of fear and … anticipation?

‘Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?’ Stiles winked at him and Derek froze, his hand half in his pocket retrieving his phone as he realised what was happening.

‘Are you?’ Derek frowned as he trailed off. There was no way that Stiles could possibly be using pick up lines on him. He always smelt of arousal and lust, but, well, it was Stiles. The smell of arousal had gotten stronger the longer he’d known him but he was always coming on to people.

‘Was your father a thief? Because someone put the stars in your eyes.’ Stiles pretended to swoon and Derek suddenly cottoned on to what was happening. 

Stiles wasn’t hitting on him, he was practising his pick up lines. Of course. Scott had been excitedly telling everyone who would listen, and those who really didn’t want to know, about the upcoming night out. And Stiles was using him to practise.

‘Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?’ Stiles winked at him.

Derek inhaled quietly and slowly. He knew from experience if he walked into any other room Stiles would follow, but he wondered if Stiles would still follow if he left the loft entirely.

‘If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?’

Maybe he should go for a run, run off all this excess energy and anger Stiles was unknowingly providing him with. He knew better than to be disappointed by Stiles’ lack of interest in him.

‘Could you take me to the doctor?’

Derek twitched, wondering where his keys were but he waited a second just in case.

‘I broke my heart falling for you.’

Derek sighed, rubbing his forehead. ‘Really Stiles?’

‘You must be a broom, coz you just swept me off my feet.’

‘Please stop.’

‘You want to play drums? I’ll be the drum, you can be the sticks and you can bang me all you want.’

Derek threw him a glare. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could put up with this for, and he knew Stiles well enough to know that he would have hundreds more pick up lines and would not be running out any time soon.

‘How about playing house then? I’ll be the front door and you can slam me.’ Stiles winked at him and that seemed to Derek’s breaking point.

‘For God sake Stiles go bug someone else!’ Derek snarled, pushing the human away from him. He couldn’t listen to any more flirting, not when he knew Stiles didn’t mean any of it.

‘But I don't want to.’ Stiles said simply with an easy shrug of his shoulders.

‘Why not?’ Derek growled, still furious with him, but trying hard not to show it. If Stiles knew he wasn’t just angry but also upset with him, then he would do anything and everything not only to make it right, but to find out why.

‘Because I don’t want to go out with anyone else.’

Derek opened his mouth to retort but instead blinked at Stiles several times. All the heat taken out of him, was he telling the truth? Derek hadn’t been paying close enough attention to tell. Eventually he managed one word. ‘What?’

‘I don’t want to go out with anyone else.’ Stiles repeated and this time Derek listened closely to his heartbeat, it stayed steady, at its normal fast rate, no sign of any blip, no other cues or tells, because of course Stiles had figured out his ADHD messed with his heart rate and therefore he could lie to werewolves without being called out. But not to Derek. Derek could always tell when he was lying. And he was not lying.

‘You, you …?’ Derek blinked. ‘You like me?’

Stiles rolled his eyes. ‘D’uh.’

Derek snarled, but there wasn’t any heat in it. ‘You want to be with me? In a relationship with me?’

Stiles smiled at him. ‘Have you not figured it out yet big guy?’

Derek blinked, when had he gotten so close? But then his words registered and he narrowed his eyes. ‘Use your words Stiles.’

Stiles’ mouth dropped open slightly before he laughed but then he was nodded. ‘Yes I want to be with you, yes I want to be in a relationship with you. Yes I want to date you, kiss you, explore you, have sex with you. Yes I want to do everything with you.’

‘Good.’ Derek smiled, seeing the surprise cross Stiles face before he surged forward, wrapping Stiles up in his arms and kissing him.

The reality turned out to be so much better than his imagination. Sure, Stiles’ lips were warm and soft, but they were slightly chapped where he constantly bit at them, and his imagination had sorely lacked or misjudged the whimpery, breathy noises that spilled out of his mouth even though it was thoroughly occupied and busy.

And his hands, his hands were more than happy to explore Derek’s body and Derek was not complaining. He was happily doing his own amount of exploring even if he was mainly keeping it to Stiles’ back.

He hadn’t had much luck with his relationships and he did not want this to go wrong. Stiles meant too much to him.

‘You know,’ Stiles said, finally breaking away, but keeping his body pressed up tight against his. ‘I wasn’t sure whether or not to believe Lydia, that you liked me back. But then Jackson, in his ever loving insulting way, accidentally confirmed it.’

Derek raised an eyebrow. Why were they talking about Lydia and Jackson? ‘What are you talking about?’

Stiles kissed him, it was a good distraction. His lips were soft, slightly rough, and while their kiss was too new to have much finesse, it was perfect. ‘Lydia got fed up with me pining. Jackson was just fed up.’

Derek snorted. That sounded about right. And if Jackson had picked up on how Derek was feeling, then maybe he was being more obvious than usual, or hadn’t given the young werewolf enough credit. It didn’t surprise him that Lydia knew.

‘And by the way, we’re staying in tonight. Just me and you.’ Stiles gave him a chaste kiss, completely different to their earlier kiss. Derek nodded. ‘We don’t have to do anything, like no sexy times if you don’t want to. But I’m down with that if you do want to, or I’ll go down on you if you want.’

‘Stiles.’ Derek smiled, giving him a kiss, before walking forwards, still holding onto Stiles, making him stumble as he backed him towards the sofa.

‘What was I saying? You are very distracting but I know I had a point. Oh yeah, they’ll keep Scott distracted so we can have the night with each other, even if it’s just talking. I’m okay with whatever I can get. I mean I will never say no to sexy times, not with you…’

‘Please stop calling it sexy times.’ Derek groaned as he spun them around and lowered them both down onto the sofa so that Stiles was on top of him. He had no idea how Stiles managed to talk so much but he seemed happy doing so, so Derek was happy to continue to kiss and rub his stubble around Stiles’ neck. ‘Otherwise I can guarantee you there will be no sex.’

‘Well, of course, but I hope you know that this means I have to stick to tried and tested methods that so far have a one hundred percent success rate.’ Stiles beamed at him as he finished unbuttoning Derek’s shirt and pulled his own t-shirt off. ‘And I just want to take the opportunity to clarify that that success rate is only with you.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Derek groaned as he traced his finger over Stiles’ torso and stomach.

‘Are you a flight attendant? Coz you’re going to be plane with this dick later.’

Derek suddenly realised what Stiles had meant. He raised an unimpressed eyebrow but Stiles seemed to be too distracted to notice.

‘I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long.’

Derek pushed himself up slightly and pulled at the band of his jeans. ‘No, look’s about normal.’

Stiles spluttered. ‘Ooh, werewolf’s got jokes now. Well then, your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?’

Derek groaned, wondering how easy it would be to distract him out of talking. It hadn’t worked so far but practice made perfect.

‘Fancy playing roles? I’ll be a zombie and eat you out.’

Derek started nibbling at Stiles neck and heard his breath hitch while his arousal somehow intensified.

‘I heard you like magic, bend over and we can watch my dick disappear.’

He made his way up along Stiles’ jaw, wondering how long it would take Stiles to figure out that that was definitely on the table.

‘I’ll treat you like a snowstorm, give you six to eight inches and make it mildly inconvenient for you to walk in the morning.’

Derek grinned at him, flipping them both over and covering Stiles’ body with his own. ‘Only mildly?’


End file.
